I Am Living

Grief is a natural reaction to loss. It is a very genuine and unique experience that can affect all aspects of our lives. Each person has their own way to deal with and express their grief, and there is no right way to grieve. The following are some common grief experiences (from Healing after Loss, Calvary):

Grief may affect the ability to read more than two sentences at a time.

Grief may force you into a state where no matter who is around you, you feel like you do not belong to anyone.

Grief can occur when you walk into a room or place with clear intentions only to discover that these intentions have evaporated, and you are unsure of what to do.

Grief can make you search for a face in a crowd, fully aware that you will never find it.

Grief can empty our minds of logical thought and replace them with imagination, fantasy, and irrationality.

Grief can rob you of the importance of what other people think or say about you. At times, you may make rude or antisocial remarks without realising it.

Grief can push away friends, scare away contacts, and rewrite your address book.

Grief tells the world that you are untouchable at a time when touch is the only contact that might reach you.

Grief can create such a state of inertia that often on many days, you find yourself somewhere that is neither the past, nor the present, nor the future.

Grief can make you spend a lot of time “just hanging on,” regardless of why it is happening.

Grief can sometimes make you seem mute in that all words seem inadequate, trivial, or useless.

Grief is often accompanied by silence, a very loud non-noise that keeps you awake at night and drives you crazy during the day.

Grief can lead to rituals that may seem crazy to others but make perfect sense to you.

Grief can rob us of a sense of meaning, so all we value in life can seem trivial.

Grief can often mean projecting a facade, hiding behind “masks” and camouflages to keep the world from knowing the real you.

From Ross:

“I will not insult you by trying to tell you that one day you will forget. I know as well as you that you will not. But at least, in time you will not remember as fiercely as you do now.”

  –  Terence Rattigan

Source: ‘Healing After Loss’. Calvary Bereavement Counselling Service (2020)