I Am Living

Your grief may:

  • take longer than most people expect;
  • take more energy than you can imagine;
  • show up in every area of your life and in every aspect of who you are. It can affect your social relationships, your health, your thoughts, feelings, and religious beliefs;
  • be a response to a present loss or anticipated and non-finite losses, hopes, dreams and unfulfilled expectations;
  • be over who/what you’ve lost already and over what you’re losing; for your hopes, dreams, and unfulfilled expectations of them;
  • trigger reactions to losses, feelings, and unfinished business from the past; and
  • create some confusion about who you are; this may be caused by the intensity and unfamiliarity of the grieving process, and by uncertainty regarding your new role in the world.

Within your grief experience, you may:

  • feel guilty in some way or another, whether it is justified or not;
  • lack a strong sense of self-worth or experience low self-esteem;
  • experience waves of grief, or acute outbreaks of grief without warning;
  • have difficulty thinking and making decisions;
  • feel that you are going crazy, have poor memory and/or feel totally disorganized;
  • be obsessed with the death or preoccupied with thoughts of the deceased;
  • search for meaning in your life and question your beliefs;
  • not receive the understanding from others that you might have expected; and
  • experience a variety of physical reactions. A visit to your GP may be necessary.

“I didn’t know it was possible to feel such sadness. I have been unhappy before, but never like this. Sometimes the sadness is almost like a physical pain.”

  –  Beyond Grief

Source: ‘Healing After Loss’. Calvary Bereavement Counselling Service (2020)