I Am Living

Grief can seem like it is hanging on by the fingertips for quite some time.

Please consider:

  • allowing yourself to grieve, to experience and reflect on the issues, emotions, and thoughts that arise;
  • giving yourself time to grieve;
  • discussing your feelings, emotions, and circumstances with others. You might want to share memories or stories;
  • expecting to talk about many of the same things repeatedly at times. Try not to isolate yourself;
  • maintaining an environment in which openness of thought and expression of emotion is encouraged;
  • taking care of your physical health. As grief is exhausting, it is important to keep a healthy diet, sleep, exercise, and routine as much as possible. It is normal to find this challenging at first;
  • avoiding excessive use of alcohol and other drugs as these may delay the healing process;
  • managing stress. Consider asking your friends, family, or colleagues for assistance with chores and commitments.
  • accepting the help and support of others;
  • allowing a few select friends to be closer;
  • at times, however, be aware of the value of solitude and tranquility;
  • taking a realistic view of how you are now from the perspective of a griever. Try to put it into context of what you have experienced and gone through;
  • recognising that your grief is unique. Do not allow anyone to tell you how to handle it;
  • do not let anyone minimise your loss. How you perceive the loss is what matters. Be aware of advice-givers. If suggestions make sense, try them. If they do not make sense to you, give them a miss;
  • recognising also that even though it may seem impossible, your pain will eventually decrease, and you will experience more peace and calm;
  • understanding that grief involves not only managing thoughts and emotions, but also coping with practical problems;
  • trying to delay making major decisions or changes for a while;
  • taking advantage of a healthy way to indulge yourself when you can;
  • taking part in relaxing and soothing activities such as prayer, meditation, relaxation, massage, and aromatherapy;
  • discussing your situation with a counsellor;
  • when considering progress and goals, start small;
  • if you have any health concerns, seek medical advice;
  • taking it one step at a time and evaluating your progress. On a daily basis it may be difficult to judge your progress. Therefore, you should review your progress over a longer period of time;
  • checking your thinking. When you add negative thoughts to hurt feelings, it can make your progress harder; and
  • telling yourself every day that you can make it, even though it may seem impossible right now.

“What wound did ever heal, but by degrees.”

  –  William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616)